I’m not coping.
There, I said it. Well I typed it…but I think it still counts.
I have a 3 year old, a 1 and a half year old and a 6 week old -all boys- and I am not coping.
It started out such a wonderful day. Hubby and I started on a path to a healthier lifestyle today so I woke to him bringing me a smoothie for breakfast.
The older boys were out eating their breakfast when I joined them. The baby was still in bed asleep and the husband was ready for work.
We had a good morning. The baby slept for hours! In fact, I checked on him multiple times to make sure he was still breathing (spoiler alert: he was). It gave me time to get a few loads of washing done and put away while the big boys played out the back. I didn’t need to check that they were breathing, the sudden fits of giggles and random accusations of one stealing something from the other sure reminded me they were there, and for the most part unscathed.
When they came back in they had a bath and then they had lunch. Sounds like a fairly productive and happy morning, right?
It was. But after lunch it was the time I both love and fear.
We just moved in to a new place and have decided to have a toy room and a shared bedroom as opposed to two bedrooms with toys cluttering up each. Well, some days this seems like as good an idea as a sardine and peanut butter sandwich. Today is one of those days.
After the big one getting up and down, up and down, up and down I can safely say I’ve lost it. After my toasted sandwich went cold because I had to eat in short blocks of three bites each time – I’ve lost it. After the one and a half year old literally spat the dummy and screamed blue murder until it was found (under the cot!) – I’ve lost it. After the three year old woke the one year old when he’d finally given in for 4 minutes – well, you get the gist.
I’m just not coping. In the spirit of blog-honesty I’ll share that I have an appointment on Wednesday to speak to my GP about post natal depression. I had it with my first two and the ugly old cow has reared her ugly old head again this time. I’ll beat her like I did before, but I can’t do it alone.
Well there you go. Pretty bloody heavy first post. Here’s hoping the next one is a little lighter.