Dear husband

Dear husband

Dear husband,

I love you.

I love you deeper than I did thirteen years ago when we were in high school and you liked the look of my piggy tails.

I love you deeper than I did when you snuck your hand into mine at the movies on our first date.

I love you deeper than I did when I saw your eyes full of hurt when you lost your grandfather and I comforted you as best I could.

I love you deeper than I did when you did the same for me.

I love you deeper than I did when you overcame your biggest obstacles and chose me.

I love you deeper than I did the day we moved into our first home together and started making a life for ourselves.

I love you deeper than I did the days we discovered we were expecting our sweet babies.

I love you deeper than I did the day you kneeled in the rain and asked me to be your wife.

I love you deeper than I did the day we made our vows to love, support and cherish each other.

I love you deeper than I did the days we welcomed each of our three beautiful children into this world.

I love you deeper than I did yesterday.

But, I know you don’t feel it. I know you don’t feel that I love you as deeply because I have trouble showing it as much as I used to.

I have trouble showing you affection because the children need it from me more.

I have trouble cuddling you in the morning after I’ve had the baby sleeping on me all night and my body is aching from the awkward positions I’ve been stuck in.

I have trouble appreciating that you still find me sexy when I feel so uncomfortable about my body.

I have trouble smiling back at you when the fog of postnatal depression is surrounding my brain telling me I don’t deserve to smile.

And I have trouble explaining all of this to you because I feel so guilty. You deserve affection, smiles and a goofy wife who’ll give you a sneaky spank on the butt as she walks past you in the kitchen on her way to change the 42nd nappy of the day.

I want you to know I’m still here. I’m still me. I’m just a little buried at the moment. But every single day your smiles and unconditional love gives me the strength to dig myself out a little more.

Thank you for your patience. I really do appreciate it. And I promise that I love you deeper and I’ll love you deeper still.

Always,
Me x

5 thoughts on “Dear husband

  1. I love your blog more than words can describe. Every time I read it, I well up with an overwhelming mix of amazement, pride, respect and pure “tears-welling-up-in-my-eyes-so-badly-I-can-barely-read” emotion. You are an inspiration and a beautiful, genuine, and powerful human being. Thank you, on behalf of every mother on this earth, for being so real and validating everything that so many of us are struggling with on a daily basis.

    Like

  2. Awww. You’re a sweet wife, and maybe even sweeter if you get to show that you love your husband even more. Try to always make a smile and still be the same goofy you as much as possible. Your husband loves you more than you know. Always show what you felt and always tell her your troubles and happiness.

    I hope you overcome all the trials you both will be encountering in the future.

    Like

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