I’ve been quiet.
The simple reason, is that I’ve not been doing so great. I missed my meds for a few days and it was all down hill.
The kids were being kids. I was being a grouch. Grounchiness has a way of spreading, like a nasty flu. The boys can sense when I turn into ‘Mean mummy’. The yelling is a sure sign that she’s here. I hate it.
I hate the mum that I turn into without my medication. I hate that I need the medication to be a happy mum but the fact is that at least for now, I do. And I feel so grateful for those tiny white pills for helping me to be balanced.
And don’t worry, I’m taking them again and mean mummy has buggered off for now.
It has been quite a week! My father turned 50 on the first – yes April fools baby. He doesn’t seem 50 to me, though 50 is the new 40 right?
Growing up my dad wasn’t the kind of man who cuddled or played a lot. He was the kind of man who showed love by working hard to support his family. When I was in school he was tough. He didn’t like report cards with C’s on them. He wanted us to do our best, which he knew I never did. He always believed I could do more, achieve more, be more. Even if he never straight out said it – he was one of my biggest cheerleaders.
When I became an adult and moved out of home with my now husband, our relationship changed. We went from being father and daughter who clashed, to being friends. My relationship with my father has become one that means so much to me. I value his opinion and respect him in a way I never thought I would. And even though he often makes me want to pull my hair out I love him, so it was so special to celebrate his 50th birthday together.
Anyway I went off on a (worthy) tangent there. I’m back on my medication now and have had a much nicer day with my boys. They’ve been water painting this week, which is exactly how it sounds – a couple of paintbrushes, a cup of water and they ‘paint’ anything they can reach out the back – they love it and it’s mess free! Well, for the most part. They usually end up tipping out the water and making mud to stomp around in.
It’s nothing a shower won’t fix. And it’s a win-win really because a shower and pyjamas calms them down so it leads into quiet movie time.
I don’t know how we’ll get through winter being locked inside – send raincoats and gumboots and if you don’t hear from me around that time I’ve passed away from cabin fever.
Today’s little wins:
Mumma: Recognised that I wasn’t doing so great and got back on my tablets. That is definitely a win.
Biggest-Little: When I was sorting 0000’s to sell I told big that I was a bit sad that we wouldn’t have any more babies. He snuggled into my lap and said ‘I will be your baby mummy’. I melted.
Middle-Little: Learnt the word ‘turtle’ which he pronounces as tor-tulle. So cute.
Smallest-Little: Oh this kid is getting way too big! He’s now just over 3 months old and yesterday he rolled back to front. Slow down guy.