This past week I have finally stopped procrastinating.
Instead of letting my anxiety rule when I think ‘It is too hard, don’t bother, people will just laugh, you can’t do it’ I’ve decided to think ‘Who cares? You’ve got this!’
Who cares if people laugh when I rock up to the gym with my thunder thighs and bubble butt? Isn’t that what the gym was originally created for? I mean waaaay back. Back when they were about losing weight and getting fit, and not about looking the part, or having a like-worthy status update.
There are three things that have put me in the fitness frame of mind. In no particular order they are:
My weirdo little sister, who is able to turn on that ‘I’m going to the gym’ switch and absolutely smash it. I envy that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – My sister is my body guard. She makes me feel safe and protected. I can almost see a mini Hannah in my head, flipping my anxiety the bird and telling it to bugger off or she’ll throw a chair at it (that’s her version of flipping a table – trust me, i’ve experienced it in our teen years.)
She put up with me procrastinating, whinging, and cowering from exercise, and even though we had a fair few sister-fights (Sister-fights: A petty argument that makes you vow never to never speak to your sister again, but sees you laughing at something your parents or husbands have done by the end of the day) she was waiting with open arms when I said I was ready and never said ‘I told you so’.
MEGA (Mums Exercise Group Australia)
A quick run down of what MEGA is all about from the Facebook page of the Canberra branch ‘Mums Exercise Group Australia (Canberra)‘ –
Mums Exercise Group Australia (MEGA) is a volunteer group, run by mums for mums, grand mums and mums to be.
We aim to motivate, support and encourage each other to get healthy and socially connected to their community. -MEGA Canberra.
I still remember the first post I ever made to the Canberra MEGA page. It honestly changed me, and the way I look at exercise. I still absolutely love Aqua, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m there as much as possible, still rocking the one piece and the pasty legs.
Recently a spin-off group was made for those of us in MEGA who wished to attempt (and crush!) the C25K challenge. The C25K challenge is a running program (in the form of a nifty little app) designed to get you from couch potato -only running when you’ve run out of snacks and you need to get back before the ad break ends and you miss out seeing who got the rose, to running 5 kilometres for fun – yes, apparently some people find running fun, who knew?
Ah trusty old MEGA, giving me the courage, once again, to try something new. The support is something that you have to experience to understand. I’m so grateful that I found them and if you’re an Australian mum wanting to check it out you can do so here: MEGA Mums
I feel almost guilty about this one. Not guilty enough to leave it off though!
There is nothing that gets me in the mood to workout like workout gear, and the more weight I lose the more range I get to choose from (don’t even get me started on that – Why aren’t comfortable, fashionable workout clothes made more affordable and available in larger sizes? It’s almost like they think all bigger people have just given up and won’t need it! I can’t, I just can’t. I’ll rage. Back to what I was saying!)
I wore proper, fitted workout gear – I mean bright, happy, colourful, show your rolls, second skin style, stretchy, leave nothing to the imagination workout gear – to the gym for three days and I documented my findings.
Working out if I can workout in workout wear
I walked in, with a fairly convincing, completely fake sense of confidence. Ready to look others in the eye (actually I would avoid all gazes), and stand tall (ish).
What a let down. No one else was there. We had the place to ourselves. I got to experience working out in activewear though, that was great! So cool, and easy to move in.
OK, there were a couple of people, it was time to be brave. I braced myself for the inevitable stares and whispers. I almost put my hands up to protect myself. I slowly looked up, anxiety at an all time high, and then it hit!
NOT ONE SINGLE DAMN PERSON GAVE TWO HOOTS ABOUT WHAT I WAS WEARING!
Wait, that’s a lie – I did. What an idiot. What a stupid amount of wasted energy put into feeling afraid of something that I didn’t need to be afraid of – #anxietyisridiculous am I right?
No one else cared about what I was wearing, I didn’t care about what I was wearing. I cared that I had made it there, I cared that I felt great because I was wearing a whopping FIVE sizes smaller than I would have six months ago, I cared that I was getting healthy and I was comfortable doing it. I even looked at myself in the mirror while I was pounding away on the treadmill and I though ‘Hey, not bad you!’
Unfortunately I may now need to organise some sort of fundraising event to back my activewear addiction. Sorry husband, love your guts, thanks for understanding my crazy obsessions!
Things are looking great for the future. My anxiety is sitting low – as is the length of my leg hair thanks to my obsession with the 3/4 gym pants I have. My head feels quite clear. I’m energised, trying new things, and ready for more.
I’m a sister loving, lycra wearing, MEGA mum and I’m proud to admit it.
And you know what?
I’m proud of myself.
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I’d be so inexplicably grateful and I’d most probably squeal with excitement, like most grown women would, right?