Through My Eyes – Jess B.

Through My Eyes – Jess B.

What mental health concerns have you come up against? Are they yours or a family members?

I have lived with depression since I was about 13 and anxiety since childhood. I have also experienced PND after the birth of my first child.

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Announcements and Acceptance

Announcements and Acceptance

I’m the kind of person that likes to ugly cry over YouTube videos of pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, adoptions, soldiers returning home, and people coming out.

I spent the majority of last nights ‘avoid bed because I want to have some childfree down-time’ period watching the last one. For the most part people coming out to their friends and families ended in a positive way, with unconditional love. The last one I just watched was the exact opposite and involved abuse in several forms of the word.

So if the world has failed and not met my expectations, and people are still having to specifically announce their sexual orientation if it strays from the ‘norm’, I want to declare my thoughts in regards to my children, right here, right now.

Forever, my love.

My darling child,

If you are reading this then I can only hope we have the kind of relationship that I am currently working towards building. If I’ve done my job right you won’t even need this, but I want there to be no doubt, or fear, or shame.

I need you to know that I love you. I love you for your incredible soul, for changing my life, for giving me the honour of being your mother.

I need you to know that my love for you is unconditional. It will not waver. It will not falter. It will not change. 

I need you to know that the most important thing to me is that you are happy, and healthy, and that you know how incredible you are.

I need you to know that you are free. Free to love whoever, free to be whatever, free to journey wherever (but please don’t go too far for too long, I’m still your mum and I still want you close).

I need you to know that you don’t need to tell me your sexual orientation, it’s not something that requires clarification (I never told you that I’m straight #sorrynotsorry).

I need you to know that I love you. I love you with my entire being. You are a part of me. You’re a horcrux (if you don’t know what that is, kick my ass for not teaching you about Harry Potter).

Your daddy, your brothers, and I love you. We love you. But you already know this, because we tell you all the time. 

I know that this letter isn’t needed, because I will spend every day of my life ensuring that you know of my unconditional love, but just in case you have any doubts there in the future, now you know. I am confident enough in my love, that I can declare it now, knowing that it won’t have changed by the time you read this.

Be yourself. Be your amazing, wonderful self. Because I know you, in your most innocent and pure form and you, my darling, are incredible.

I love you,

Mum x