I’ve been absent, I know! I can’t really make any apologies for it, it’s a good thing for me. You see, I write when I’m in a bad place, so absence is a sign of positive things.

But I had to write today.  Today marks one year since I made a change. A change that has hugely impacted my life, and the lives of my family.

One year ago today I had a Sleeve Gastrectomy. This involves my very awesome surgeon cutting away around 80% of my stomach. It is Bariatric surgery, performed on people who need some help to turn things around. 

Sometimes I get told I took the easy way out. I didn’t. But you know what, even if it was the easy way out, does it actually matter? Bottom line is that I was once depressed, sluggish, riddled with health problems, and just floating through life, being a ‘bare minimum mum’. I am now excited, passionate, healthy, and full of life. So, does it actually matter?

The thing is, most people that say that either don’t understand it, or have witnessed someone post-surgery not treating their Sleeve with the respect it deserves. It is not a magic genie. It is not going to fix everything. You need to work with it, treat it gently, treat it with love – you’re in for the long haul together.

Anyway, without further ado, here are my before and after photos for the general public to see for the first time ever #terrified.


My stats:

Heaviest weight – 140kg

Weight on surgery day – 137kg

Current weight – 77.3kg

Weight lost – 59.7kg

#noregrets

Through My Eyes – Mykayla

Through My Eyes – Mykayla

Dear Husband,

I’m sorry I’m feeling depressed today. I know it’s hard for you to come home from work and understand why. I don’t mean to expose it so much because I know you don’t understand.

I’m sorry I yell when you ask what’s wrong. I don’t know how to word what I feel sometimes. It’s not as black and white as you’d like it to be. It’s grey. It’s so grey. Read more

Through My Eyes – Jess B.

Through My Eyes – Jess B.

What mental health concerns have you come up against? Are they yours or a family members?

I have lived with depression since I was about 13 and anxiety since childhood. I have also experienced PND after the birth of my first child.

Read more

Babies, Onesies, and Emergencies

Babies, Onesies, and Emergencies

What a weekend! 

Firstly, we have some news to share. Our family has grown! Meet Zoey (the furry one, not the pyjama-clad one). Zoey is an 8 week old Staffy X and one of hubbies 30th birthday presents. She was a complete surprise, very deserved for my incredible husband. Just as expected, he is smitten – though I think Zoey considers Marky to be her main human.

Zoey and #biggestlittle
Such a tough life…

Last night I went on a date with my bestie. We had pedicures, ate too much, smuggled perfectly innocent alcohol-free orange juice into the movie theatre… and bought onesies (from the kids section at K-Mart and they totally fit!)

Twinsies in onesies #slay
Totally innocent OJ…I swear…

We saw Beauty and the Beast and it was AMAZING. I couldn’t fault it in the slightest. The original songs were honoured perfectly, the new songs were full of heart, and Emma Watson has just reinforced her role as the star of my #womancrushwednesday. It was everything, do yourself a favour and go!

Unfortunately the buzz of last night had to end this morning when I ended up in hospital with #middlelittle after he managed to break into our medicine box. Thankfully he is ok. He had a rough morning, but it seems he got lucky and the only tablet he may have swallowed was a Cold and Flu. He was quite drowsy, and at the same time super silly so the Doctors were confident of the cause.

In good spirits

He’s had blood tests, power spews, and horrible charcoal medicine (which sure made the spews interesting!) He is now finally resting after a big morning. We will have to stay until 1930 because one of the tablets he may have had is a slow release, lasting 12 hours.

Relaxing with his Transformer

We’ve always been very careful with medications, I even clean them out 3 monthly and date the last check on a little slip in the box. Unfortunately it seems we need to reconsider our current practice and change things to increase safety.  I hope that this urges everyone reading to run a safety check on theirs too!

You are getting sleepy…sleeeepy

Well, as my little man rests blissfully in dreamland I will take this opportunity to rest myself. I’m looking forward to our hospital visit being over so I can have a healthy bub, a long, hot shower, and a real cup of coffee.

Finally resting his sweet little head
Forks and faith

Forks and faith

It’s Monday, the start of an amazing, incredible, fruitful week. Right?

I have a busy week ahead, full of play groups, school runs, work, and study. I keep surprising myself by having little moments of bliss, where I realise that I’m actually enjoying my life. It has been so long since that happened I almost didn’t recognise the feeing. Things are going well, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

No way. It’s definitely all good, I won’t let it change. I mean, how can anything be bad when I have this little goofball for a son?

#middlelittle

I do have one dilemma however. I’m enjoying my work in childcare so much that I’m considering changing my direction at Uni. I don’t know if I should put my writing on pause and focus on getting further in childcare (which I can see being my career, like writing, and not just a job), or if I should keep going the way I’m going and become more educated in childcare second. It’s a huge decision and I’m genuinely torn.

I love both fields equally. I’ve never felt passionate about anything, and now I have two passions. What in the world?

I never had the drive to do anything specific in school. When people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I said ‘a mum’. Well I’ve succeeded there. I had no follow up plan. Hubby was pretty much always going to be a mechanic (though I know being a pilot would have satisfied him more), I always envied his passion and drive. Now I don’t know what to do with myself.

I feel like a leaf, floating down a river, hoping I’ll wash up on the right bank. But which bank is the right bank? Which side of the fork do I follow?

How do you know where you should land?

Grades and Glasses

Grades and Glasses

Today is a good day. Sometimes the good days feel few and far between. Perhaps that’s not the case, perhaps my brain only recognises them on the odd occasion, perhaps my mind isn’t able to celebrate all the beautiful little things in life.

That’s my brain though. Sometimes I’m a glass half full kind of girl, and other times I want to peg the glass at the wall and yell at the person that brought it to me. What a fun character, right?

Read more

Adultier Love

Adultier Love

Darling husband

I love you, but I love you for different reasons now that we are actual adults, you know, adultier adults.

I love you when you change a nappy that smells like satans breath.

I love you when your muscles glisten with sweat as you Gumption away Mr 2’s latest wall art.

I love you when you cook different meals because one has to be gluten free and you don’t want to see your little man in pain (and up screaming all night).

I love you when you let me sleep in even though your eyes are hanging out, you keep forget the kids names, and you just tried to put a bib on the cat.

I love you when you talk me down from an anxiety attack. Most would run for the hills, or tell me to harden up, but you always know how to bring me down softly.

I love you when you wash every piece of linen we own after food poisoning has taken us out.

I love you when you tell me that you think I’m beautiful even when I haven’t showered for two days and I’m wearing your ratty old shirt and granny undies that are four sizes too big.

I love you when you go in to settle the terrors for the thirty-fourth time that night.

I love you when you speak up and say ‘I just can’t go back in there, they’ve broken me’ because we’re a team, and I’ve got you.


I love you when you read to our children. I know you don’t like reading. I know it makes you feel awkward and silly. You do it for them anyway.

I love you when you play computer games with a child on each knee. I love you when you teach the boys how to play and I love you when Mr 4 comes to teach me how to land an aircraft,because that’s all you.

I love you when you perfectly lip sync the ‘Trolls’ movie. I also cringe though, sorry.

I love you when you sing and dance while you clean, like a better-version of Tom Cruise with a symmetrical face and without Scientology.

I love you when you watch something boring or gross on Netflix and I end up watching Good Mythical Morning on my phone. Then you stop watching your zombie crap because GMM is more interesting, and we realise that we should have just put it on in the first place and agree not to let you choose anymore.

I love you when you shave for work every morning because you want to look professional, even though we both know at heart you’re a bearded beast.

I love you when you discipline the children so that I don’t have to (for the twenty third time).


I love you when you recognise that even though I will only be working once a week, that doesn’t make my work any less important to me than yours is to you.

I love you when you tell me to study. Even if I do spend most of the time doodling ‘my husbands a jerk because he’s making me study’. 

I love you when you talk about my grandfather. It kills me that our children didn’t get to meet him, but you did and you help me keep his memory alive.

I love you when you get home from work, tell me to go and have a rest, and brace yourself for the onslaught as three boys come flying at you from every direction and I run like I’m being chased by a mass murder.

I love you you get excited about me watching 50 Shades of Grey because you think that I’m going to come home wanting to pretend you’re Christian. Mate, it was one time.

I love you when you sleep walk. When you jump out of bed yelling at me to run because ‘they’re coming’. When you roll around the ground so ‘they’ don’t see you. When you laugh about it while I tell you of your adventures the next morning.

I love you for so many more reasons, but at least one child needs me so I have to leave it at that.

I love you. I just really, really love you. I love you so much I want to squish your cheeks and never let you go. 

I love you more, but I love you differently.

I love you for the gross things, the boring things, the necessary things, the real things.

I love you for navigating your way through this ridiculous, crazy, life with me. 

I love you.

We all want to smother you with kisses
Repetition and rewards

Repetition and rewards

I know, I know I’ve said this before, multiple times, but trust me, I’ll say it again.

Because this is important. It is an important topic. It is important that things change. 
I’m not saying go and share this blog post – I’m saying go and share this message.

Please.

How can you say no to that face? #smallestlittle

We need to stop using the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ as a way to shrug off rough behaviour. 
We need to end the saying ‘he hit you because he likes you’ to justify why a boy may be picking on someone.

We need to cease referring to only the sport-playing males as ‘a real boys boy.’ What about the little boys who prefer science, or dancing, or art? Are they any less of a boy?

We need to quit saying ‘stop crying like a little girl’ because every body cries. It’s not a weakness. It’s an emotion.

Why are we expecting bad behaviour from boys? How are we giving them a chance when these phrases are used so callously in every day language?

I have three sons. I do not want my boys growing up thinking that the only way to be classified as a real man is to be a footy-playing, violent, emotional desert of a human. It’s simply not the case and these words can be damaging.

#smallestlittle rocking a Zeke Unique shirt

An amazing lady by the name of Rachael has created a shirt in honour of me along these very lines! I feel so blessed that she has done something so kind. I got a lot of comments accusing me of brushing my sons roughness off as ‘boys will be boys’. There was little said that upset me more than that.

From the Zeke Unique Facebook page : “An awesome message to share… this tee has been made in honour of one of my favourite Mummy bloggers! The joys of 3 boys She’s real, she writes from the heart and she’s raising three AMAZING little men.” Yes, I’m blushing!

I expect more from my children. I expect more from myself as a mother. I would never. 

Anyway I’m not getting into that again #brokenrecord.

Rachael is the mind, body, and soul behind the business Zeke Unique. This new shirt is a part of her ‘Equali-Tees’ line – a line of shirts that celebrate the individual child and their likes, rather than what they are expected to like based on their gender at birth.

This little boy #middlelittle loves music!

I can’t speak highly enough of this whole thing! I’m so proud to know Rachael. I’m so proud to now have a shirt honouring me! I’m so proud of the change she is working towards. We all need to work towards the same outcome.

I got my #mumlife from Zeke Unique a few months back!

Let’s celebrate our children for the unique individuals that they are!

—-

I’d love to giveaway one of Zeke Unique’s new ‘Boys will be good humans’ t-shirts! If you’d like to win one just leave a comment either here, Facebook, or Instagram and tell me which awesome little guy in your life you’d love to see rocking this awesome shirt!

I wouldn’t hate it if you shot over to Zeke Unique and to my Facebook page and gave them a like either! 😉 

And of course you’d just be mean if you didn’t share the opportunity with your mates, right? 😏

Please note – I am receiving nothing from Zeke Unique for anything I’ve said except for Rachael’s continuous support of everything I do. I genuinely love her products and just wanted to share my joy over her new addition! 😊 #pinkypromise

*Open to residents of Australia. One nomination per person please, it’s already going to be hard enough to choose as it is. Maybe I’ll make someone else do that 😂 Entries close midnight AEST Thursday 26th of January 2017. Winner will be announced Friday 27th of January 2017.

We’re under attack!

We’re under attack!

Today I was abused by another mother.

I’ve heard about this happening, but I’ve never been involved like this.

My middle son (2) hurt her daughter. I saw it happen, spoke to him about it, and then he and I both apologised to her daughter and her for what had happened. All was good. I felt good about how I’d dealt with it.

Then without warning she was in my face.

Read more

A parent and a person

A parent and a person

This morning was the first childcare day of the year for Biggestlittle. We walked in at the same time as the staff who organises placements and she said hi and asked where the other two boys were. I reminded her that they only come on Mondays.

The glorious words that escaped her mouth changed everything. She said that I should bring them in because it was quiet and they missed out coming on Monday due to the public holiday!

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