Through My Eyes – Mykayla

Through My Eyes – Mykayla

Dear Husband,

I’m sorry I’m feeling depressed today. I know it’s hard for you to come home from work and understand why. I don’t mean to expose it so much because I know you don’t understand.

I’m sorry I yell when you ask what’s wrong. I don’t know how to word what I feel sometimes. It’s not as black and white as you’d like it to be. It’s grey. It’s so grey. Read more

Pleading with my past

Pleading with my past

Dear 19 year old me,

I have a few words of advice, though I know you’re stubborn and always know best so you won’t listen anyway.

Firstly, you know that boy you’re dating, the one that everyone says isn’t treating you right? He is not treating you right. You don’t have to put up with it. Don’t measure your self-worth by his actions. That boy, that goofy, confused, mistake-making boy, will be your husband one day. Surprise! He is going to be the most incredible husband. He will be an amazing father to your children and he will become the man that your soul recognises as its counterpart. He isn’t going anywhere, he loves you, you should love you too.

By the same token, go out more! Don’t sit around keeping yourself available in case he summons you. Drink too much, laugh a lot, revel in your lack of responsibilities, travel, study, make friends, enjoy your family, read as much as you can and sleep while you can. You aren’t bound by anything but doubt, throw caution to the wind and have an adventure!

You know how you think you’re fat? You’re not, yet. You will be if you keep abusing your body. Don’t do it. Put down that quarter pounder and go for a walk around the lake. You don’t want to live like this, trust me. You deserve to be healthy. You think that junk isn’t affecting you but it is. You’ll see, and then you’ll have to work twice as hard to heal yourself. Now is the time to change.

Stop spending money on rubbish! Save, save, save, and then when you’ve saved enough for something you think is super awesome and totally worth blowing your money on, save some more. You get to drive that nice car around, but I get to pay for it. Get out of the mindset of ‘I’ll just deal with that in the future’ because guess what, I’m the future and I’m drowning in the bad choices you’ve made.

Spend more time with your family. Seriously- do it. Some of the family you have now, I don’t have, and I miss them. I wish I had spent more time with them. Soak up the love and appreciate the person behind the title. Don’t take anyone for granted. Nothing is forever.

Enjoy your youth. It will only be a few short years before you become a wife and mother, thus starting a new, amazing, chapter in your life. Make the most of these carefree years before your days are dictated by nap times, meal plans, and budgets. Take lots and lots of photos and keep a diary because I love to reminisce.

Live, and know that things will be ok.