Through My Eyes – Jess B.

Through My Eyes – Jess B.

What mental health concerns have you come up against? Are they yours or a family members?

I have lived with depression since I was about 13 and anxiety since childhood. I have also experienced PND after the birth of my first child.

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It’s all relative

It’s all relative

There is a new ‘repost this’ status going around Facebook. It basically says that women who are fortunate enough to fall pregnant shouldn’t be complaining about the aches and pains that come hand in hand with most pregnancies.

The latest ‘repost this’ status doing the rounds on Facebook

Well I’m #sorrynotsorry but I have to say that I think that is an absolute load of garbage.

I make no apologies for my many, many complaints.

I complained about the nausea, the sleepless nights, the crippling pelvic pain, the fact that I needed crutches, the fact that I needed help from my husband just to turn in bed or dress myself. I complained that Symphisis Pubis Disfunction is so debilitating, so soul crushing that it makes you wonder why you keep getting yourself in this position. Actually I’m seven months post partum and I still complain about SPD.

I complained about having to inject myself with insulin and prick my finger multiple times a day, I complained that I couldn’t give enough attention to my other children, I complained about migraines, I complained about how my anxiety got worse and worse the further along I got. I complained about how much I was complaining. I exhausted myself and others around me.

I complained with every pregnancy because I am just not good at it. In fact I hate it.

And apart from it probably (definitely) being really annoying to listen to, it’s ok. It’s ok for me to not have enjoyed that journey and to be honest about it. My experience and vents are in no way belittling anyone else’s journey.

My pregnancies were hard for me, just as your struggles are hard for you. I feel for you. I empathise with you. I care for you. I hope for you. Our struggles and journies are ours, and no one, and nothing, can take away from how important they are to each of us.

We aren’t in competition with each other. There isn’t a giant pie chart showing who has it worse. It’s all relative. There is no reason we can’t be there for each other. Can’t we whinge at each other and sympathise without it taking away from our own struggles? I suppose that may be too much to ask, but isn’t it worth a shot?

Please don’t confuse my complaints with being ungrateful. I am grateful for all that I have complained about because it gave me three beautiful little boys who I love more than I could ever explain. 

And to me, that makes every complaint worth it.